Today marks the 18th day that I have officially lived in San Francisco. Moving isn't necessarily a fun process; the packing and planning and stressing and driving through arguably 3 of the most boring states to drive through. But with the company of my mom, lots of snacks, and constant laughter, they were a few absolutely enjoyable days.
The past 2.5 weeks have been spent unpacking and getting 'settled.' I've noticed myself using that term a lot in conversation with everyone. When asked how I am doing and how I am enjoying the city, I tend to respond with a short explanation of what we've been up to, and add that the apartment is almost completed and that I'm finally feeling 'settled.' To be completely honest and vulnerable (which is all this post really is), then I would say that I am the furthest thing from settled. Yes, all of our boxes are unpacked and the apartment is organized and I've hung all of our favorite pictures; however, I personally have never felt so UNsettled. I am currently unemployed, and don't have the slightest idea of what I want to do next. I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself to find the right job, when I don't even know what that job is. So I've been keeping busy with projects around the apartment and challenging myself to cook really complicated meals.
I caught up with a few of my best friends last week, and it was so helpful to hear that other people are also dealing with a lack of answers. Other people struggle with uncertainty. I am not the only one feeling unsettled. I have said over and over again that this place of unknown is scary, but it's a whole lot less scary to know that I am not the only one feeling this way.
These past few weeks have unexpectedly reminded me how important it is to enjoy where I am at RIGHT NOW. It is OKAY that I don't have a career path mapped out. It is OKAY to enjoy this down time while figuring out what's next for me. It is OKAY to feel stressed and confused and unsettled.
So that's it for now. As much as I struggle with the whole consistent blogging thing, writing and getting my thoughts out of my head never fails to make me feel better.
Happy Thursday from beautiful San Francisco!
Hi! I'm unemployed in the Bay Area too! I still work at my current job, but part-time, to help out with the transition as I transition away and find a new one. And I have NO IDEA what I want to do. Really what it is, and I'm sure you feel this way also, is that there are so many things that I want to do. I don't know how channel my energy.
ReplyDeleteI'm in Petaluma, my parents live in Marin and I'm in the city all the time - we should get together! What part of the city do you guys live in?
Good luck getting "settled" and I hope things fall into place soon! My mom always tells me that "The universe abhors a vacuum." When something is empty, the universe will subtly tell you how to fill it! Lots of love to you and Felix!!