Birthday Blues?

Birthdays, in my opinion, are overrated and over anticipated. I have always grouped them in with New Year's Eve - one of those holidays that no matter how hard you try and plan or how excited you get, it never goes as well as you want it to. Maybe because these 'holidays' are always (even if you don't try to) so built up in our minds, that we set them up to be failures. I have always been a fan of spreading birthday celebrations over the span of a whole week. That way you aren't putting all of your hope for a perfect celebration into a 12-hour slot.

That may seem very negative on my part, but I can vividly remember a few really bad birthdays from high school and college that resulted in tears and disappointment. But this year was an absolute exception. The day did, however, begin in tears after a rough morning at work: countless attempts at discipline and a group of extremely defiant teenagers. But after a brief cry on the phone to Felix in the car, my birthday got significantly better as the day went on.

I came home to a clean apartment and a slice of my favorite chocolate cake. One of my best friends picked me up for an early lunch, hands full with beautiful orange roses and a cake, complete with 24 candles!

My birthday afternoon consisted of cuddles, a movie, and a nap on the couch - ideal after a night at work. We woke up on time for a delicious dinner at the Melting Pot in downtown Littleton. This was a go-to birthday spot back in the day so it was nostalgic and brought back wonderful memories.

Birthday festivities continued throughout the week with gifts from amazing friends from the other side of the country, salsa lessons, and seeing the Lion King show downtown.

Honestly, the past few weeks, I've had angst about getting 'older.' 24 seemed really old. I remember turning 18 and 19 and feeling like mid-20's were so far away. But time goes by fast, and I imagine it only gets faster. But 24 is great. I'd like to think I'm one year wiser and more mature, but I'm definitely one year more appreciative for all the fabulous people in my life.

Happy weekend!

3 Smiles

Sometimes, there are really big exciting things that I want to share, and really small, seemingly unimportant things that are equally as exciting to me. Either way, they help keep me going and make my weeks happy!

One of my best friends from college booked her ticket to come visit me!!

My new Mac

Homemade cookie and cream sandwiches

My First {real} Job!

With the exception of a few internships and 6 month working stints, I have never had a job. Devoting most of my youth to volleyball left very little room for any other type of work. So you can see why coming back from Uganda with NO idea what I was going to be doing was incredibly terrifying. I had successfully avoided intense interviews, cover letters, and job searching for 23 years and I was going to be forced headfirst into the job hunt upon my return.

I was lucky to find a position - that I LOVE - fairly quickly. And so far, it has been everything I expected a first job to be. Granted it is not the typical 9-5 work day, I am slowly adjusting to the graveyard shift hours, and re-learning what it means to be held accountable to other people.

The only other experience I can really compare it to is volleyball in college. And the working world is oddly similar. (Hmm, is this what coaches always meant by teaching us 'real life skills?') - Long hours, plenty of overtime, lots of laughs with co-workers, bitching (sometimes to fit in) about bosses and other coworkers, getting paid, and sometime questioning why on earth I'm doing what I'm doing.

The nature of my work is really challenging. All of the kids we work with have been through intense stuff. Most of them have been in the court system for years and we may be just another temporary home for them. Many are suicidal, abused/abusive, angry, depressed... I get an interesting outlook while working at night. I monitor the kids while they are sleeping and have to deal with waking them up and getting them ready for the day.  I find myself at times fighting tears as I pop in to check on them every 15 minutes. Because at that point, while they are sound asleep, I don't see them for their drug use, their tempers, or their sexual abuse. I see them for the young teenagers that they are. The 12, 13, 14 year olds that have been put in situations that have stripped them of their innocence, ability to let people in, and capability of seeing past tomorrow.

Since I've never worked (or studied) in social services, the learning curve has been incredibly high for me. Since I've started, I've done a med-training course, CPR/first aid certification, Hippa training, and had meetings with our therapists to learn about our methods of treatment for the kids.

During first aid, while learning how to apply ointment and properly apply a band-aid, I thought about some of the wounds I treated in Uganda - the 2 year old with the third degree burns down her arm, the man with the foot fungus, or the little boy with the hole in his arm from a witchcraft ceremony. I couldn't help but feel more than qualified for the first-aid I'll be dealing with at work. Bring it on paper cuts.

Due to the mass amount of new information, I am constantly taking notes on my hand or on scraps of paper of frequently used terms and acronyms that I don't know the meanings of. I then, subsequently, spend hours reading online trying to learn as much as I can.

The hours have been less of an adjustment than I thought. I'm finding that my body needs less sleep, but I also sleep my entire 'weekend' (Monday-Wednesday). My work schedule has definitely forced even more creativity into our relationship, whether that means scheduling 'Date Night' on a Saturday morning or planning weeks in advance for an overnight trip. Having a job makes the weeks go by really fast, and because I love what I am doing, helps me look forward to the work week starting again, which I am incredibly grateful for!

Just Write

There's one thing I've learned abut myself, especially in the last year: I love to write. It doesn't matter the subject or the facet in which I'm writing, but I always enjoyed knocking out a good paper in college, keeping up with journals, and writing endless amounts of "to-do" lists. But since I've been back from Uganda, I've been seriously struggling with my writing and I'm not sure why. The whole "holding myself accountable to my blog" thing didn't work. It seemed to create more writer's block for me because since then, I haven't felt that anything I do or think of is worthy of writing about. 

I've been reading all sorts of blogs lately about food, travel, fashion, charities, etc. I am constantly inspired and overwhelmingly intimidated by so many bloggers, not only because they are all tremendous writers, but because I know how difficult it is to put yourself out there like that. I am so convinced that writing (especially in a public forum) is one of the most raw and vulnerable forms of self-expression. Not to mention that by writing on a public blog, you have to convince yourself that people may in fact care about what you have to say (And I'm definitely not there yet!)

Although my initial plan was for no one to be reading this, my type A personality (thanks, Dad) doesn't allow me to post anything I don't feel is worthy. And my definition of worthy is at times too high to meet. 

So I have a new plan... Relax and just write.

Whether that ends up being my stream of consciousness, attempts in the kitchen, peak/pit experiences in my own life, or just pictures I want to "share," I just hope I can be somehow relate-able to someone out there.

Life for us has been great lately. I forgot how pleasant Denver is in the Fall and I was falling in love with the leaves constantly.

We enjoyed a quiet Halloween weekend - no dressing up but we did carve pumpkins!

And we welcomed our first huge snow with open arms... and a broken heater. Fortunately, my parents (and conveniently, landlords) live a few blocks away and they don't mind letting us stay with them for a few days every now and then. 

Until soon, we send love from Denver!