3 Smiles

Cuddling with this love for a whole afternoon

Dog sitting a co-worker's dog for the week

A flawless 4th Valentine's Day with Felix, complete with lettuce wraps, the best angel food cake in the whole world, wine, and movies

Snowed In

On the day that the groundhog made it clear that we were to have 6 more weeks of winter, we got hit with a big storm. That groundhog couldn't have been more right. Since then, there's been nothing but icy sidewalks and constant additions to the layers of snow collecting on the sides of roads.

 

A few weeks ago, we got hit with the biggest storm I can remember since I was in high school. It was crazy. Everything was shut down. All school districts were closed the night before it even began snowing. But the tricky thing about working in residential direct care, is we NEVER close, because we are a home.

So, last week, I got snowed in to work. And it was the BEST snow day I've had in years.

Running on minimal sleep, ZERO energy, and 1 RedBull... There are very few things (or nothing else) that I would be happy to spend 20 straight hours doing. But it was a great 20 hours.

Although I would never admit it to them, these kids really do keep me going. Explaining why some one's mom is missing their weekly meeting for the 3rd week in a row and being there for him afterwards. Supporting a kid who just found out they will never be allowed to live at home again. Listening to a child remember when their step-father sexually abused them. Helping a kid deal with their drug abuse and understand how smart they really are. Or sending a kid, who's been with us for 3 months, home to live with his family. These are the moments that make life really, really shitty, but also really sweet.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't really struggling lately.  I am nearing the 6 month mark with this job and my body is feeling it. All those sleepless days, 15 hour shifts, and high-stress is catching up with me. I cry at everything. Literally anything that is remotely sad or emotion-triggering, I cry. Sometimes happy tears, but nonetheless, tears. I just feel really raw, which is similar to a feeling I had in Uganda. Like between the little sleep I'm getting and traumatic environment I work in every day, I am just really vulnerable. While I can't say it is the most healthy way to live, I can say that I continue to be grateful for every moment; because I know this is all a part of my story. Some of these kids will forever be a part of my story.

Happy weekend!